Outstretched Arms

There were lots of crazy late nights at Amy and Nate's house following the weeks after Tucker died. Jason and I would alternate who got to go and just be with them, and then there were times we just hired a babysitter to come to the house so we could both be there. The "we can just go for a little bit" inevitably turned into 2..3am-ish every single time, as the conversations, tears, reminiscing...just being there, was so drawing, comforting, and plain necessary in the grieving process. Many of those nights blur together for me, but I do remember one distinctly where it was just Amy and I sitting at her kitchen table and we started talking about them having more children.

Amy expressed her desire to want to, but in God's own timing. I remember her feeling lost and confused as to when the right time would be to start thinking toward this sort of future. We chatted about different aspects of it, pros and cons of waiting, how God used a baby in David's life to help heal him from losing his previous son at birth...what was "right" and "wrong" - if there even was such a thing...
Then I remember her saying "But I'm not sure if I want a boy or a girl?" And then talking about the different aspects of each gender. That's when I stopped her and smiled and said "Good news is you don't have a single say in that one!"

We talked about how God knows what's best for them. How he knows the timing. How he knows what gender would be the best.

And then we laughed and said something along the lines of how obviously God knows what is best, but wouldn't it be awesome if she could have twins????

Since Nathan is a twin, and so is my dad, we've always said they have the best shot at having twins, and now...at a time such as this, I think this became the thought (sometimes unspoken) and even prayer of many in our family for them. But of course we all knew that He knows what is best and we trusted that.

Fastforward to the end of July when she calls me to tell me the exciting news that they are pregnant!! I was driving back from Crossett with the family and was crazy excited, yelling and screaming like a maniac. She told me how she was super early, but had already had bloodwork and was going for an ultrasound the following week.
She said the "baby hormone" in her blood was crazy high and we giggled about how it might be twins!

The following week at her ultrasound, she called me to say that everything looked great. Of course I asked her how many babies were in there....she said one.
Now, I don't want to sound like I was disappointed by any means whatsoever, because I wasn't, but I did utter "Lord, you know what's best and it's this one little baby growing in her belly. Thank you!!!"

Okay, now if you're friends with me/her on FB, you totally know the end of this story, but I'm telling it from my perspective because I want to try and convey how amazing God is, His timing, His provision, His arms that never cease to wrap around His children...bear with me. :)

Then more weeks pass...
They go in for there actual first 2 month ultrasound. And yall, their sweet doctor looks up at them, starts crying, and tells them there are now TWO BABIES in Amy's belly. And they can see that they are identical twins.
WHAT??!!!!!!!!!

She called me after the appointment to tell me and I, without reserve, immediately burst into tears and screamed so loud. I began sobbing and couldn't even get words out. Lincoln ran up to me scared and started crying, so I began trying to comfort him and assure him it was GOOD NEWS!
Then it hit me...I was standing in the exact spot, with similar looking emotions and a scared toddler clinging to me when I got the call about Tucker 5 months ago.
And I cried harder.
Thank you Lord for redeeming news.

Here's the crazy part. I learned this fact a long time ago, and when she told me "identical twins" it flooded me with even more emotions because I knew:
Fraternal twins are hereditary (the kind we had all hoped for because of the genes on both sides of our families).
Identical twins, however, have nothing to do with genetics. It is a fluke thing that is only explained by God.

It's as if God was saying, "I know yall all want twins and have even prayed to me about it and talk about how it runs in the family, but make no mistake - I got this one."

I just love how God shows up. And always in grand style where we can make no mistake it's Him. How he led them for almost a month knowing they were pregnant, but thinking it was only one baby...
How her due date was set at the end of March (40 weeks), but now that they know it's twins, 36 weeks is considered full-term, and 36 weeks could very well be the day Tucker celebrated his heavenly birthday...
How it could have been fraternal twins, but He made them identical so they could take no credit...

I'm sure Amy and Nate have felt it numerous times, but for me, that day was the first in months I have felt the arms of Jesus wrapping around our family saying "I've still got you."

I love how Amy said when they got the news of the twins how Tuck was probably up there just busting up laughing. That thought brings me so much joy. I can't wait to hold those little babies, but I really can't wait for the day when they get to meet their big brother. Joy.

(Read more at my sister's blog...I love how she describes the tug of war in her heart after learning she was pregnant and how God shows up for her!)