She says she is terrified of speaking in front of people...of being in the public eye.
She tells a story of how being a Freshman in her very first intimidating Bible class of her college career, how her professor called on her - the girl shyly sitting in the back row - to lead the class in prayer, and how she thought she might pass out.
Once when she was visiting me in California, I convinced her to sing karaoke with me in front a massive crowd (a place where Whitney Houston had once sang karaoke); I'm still not sure how I succeeded in getting her on that stage with me, but when her nerves took over, it probably would have been better for her to just have not given in to me on that one (let's just say it was no Whitney that night - but that's another story).
Then when her sweet baby Tucker died a few months back at only 15 months of age, she so desperately wanted to speak at his funeral, but just talking about the thought with me one night made her heart rate accelerate and waves of terror wash over her as she imagined herself in front of people...in the spotlight.
But you know what is so amazing? The Holy Spirit.
How when Jesus ascended into Heaven, He left the gift of the Holy Spirit to dwell within us...to empower us in Jesus Christ...so that even when we're frightful of speaking about the things of Christ, we have this promise from Jesus in Matt. 10:20 -
"For it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through
you."
And clinging to this verse and the faith that Jesus would sustain her, my sister walked to the podium and allowed the Holy Spirit to powerfully speak through her at her own child's funeral.
I know many of you have been touched by what she writes on her blog. She has repeatedly expressed bewilderment as to why people find it so powerful, stating she's never thought of herself as the eloquent writer. Again...what power when one opens themselves as a vessel o be filled with the Holy Spirit.
The journey my sister is on is beautiful and mysterious...spurned by tragedy and anchored in her unwavering faith. God is working in her life in a way that I don't even understand sometimes, but the same message is consistently conveyed...how deep the Father's love for us.
You can follow her journey and how God is shaping her in the midst of such unthinkable tragedy on her blog. I encourage you to do so!
2 comments:
I always checked your sis's blog when you convinced her to start it and I even remember her saying she wasn't very good at keeping it up! But after the death of Tucker , this blog has been very powerful to not only myself but I know many others. What an awesome testimony she is sharing. I am so blessed by her words each time! We keep them in our prayers. Vivian.
I came upon her blog through a friend. As a new (somewhat, 9 months) father, her story has made an immeasurable impact on me. I'm not quite as eloquent of a writer as her, so I cannot fully express the various ways Tucker's story has impacted me and my perspective. All I can say is, God is definitely working through her and has made an impact on countless people she's never met.
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