He Fights For Us

I have always struggled with worry.

When I was little, I remember my mom commenting on this lovely little trait of mine a lot. In my elementary years, I worried about the weather. My parents said they always knew when a storm was rolling in because I would start pacing around the house, talking "90miles/minute", as they would say. You know, kind of like what a dog does when the weather changes.
That was me.

And then in high school/college, I would worry about relationships and grades - the big 2. My mother would frequently remind me that "worrying was my nature, and not a good one, and that I always over dramatized things, making them worse than they really were."

Then I had kids. And I realized I didn't even really know what worry was. Amen??

I've talked about this on here, but about 3 years ago, I had a huge surrendering of my spirit for my worry about my kids and Jason. My battle weapon? Every time a worry would creep in, I would instantly start to pray against it. God had shown me how ALL worry is a sin, and that by worrying, I was in fact playing God in my own ridiculous way. It demonstrates a lack of faith in my Creator, my Protector, the One who loves me more than I can fathom...and is an incredibly self-centered way of thinking. I don't know about you, but when I worry, it consumes me to the point that I cannot enjoy much. I am so inwardly focused...right where the enemy would have me.

Anyway, through the help of the Holy Spirit, I was able to make great strides in this area a few years back.

I'm not sure if I got too arrogant in it or what exactly happened, but over the past 6 months or so, another "worry" slowly started creeping into my thoughts, and yesterday I literally felt as if I might explode with anxiety. Finally...finally (why does it take so long sometimes to surrender to God??!) I listened to the Holy Spirit and recognized it as straight sin and something that was slowly robbing me of joy and effectiveness. Maybe it was spiritual attack trying to keep me from some new things that have been started this semester?? Maybe it was just my own plain fleshly nature presiding because I was not seeking Christ in the way I should have been? Maybe both??
Whatever the cause, I gave it up yesterday. And I could not wait for Jason to get home to tell him. It was so freeing and after talking to Jason I realized perhaps one of the most important features of surrendering to God things that inhabit our lives - sharing that with others so they can help you along the way. And obviously whom better than your husband.

So here's the awesome way God works:
This morning in our Bible study, I felt like Beth Moore and I were having a conversation about the very things I was conversing with God about just yesterday. It was bizarre y'all! There were 2 things specifically she talked of that I was talking with Jason about last night.
One of which I want to share, for the hope that you, too can find it helpful.

It was about mercy - feeling other's pain - being able to walk/pray with them through difficult circumstances...
I was telling Jason how in this social media age, I have found myself getting so weighted down and almost depressed with all the sad news. There is SOO much lately. And some of it is close to home...it's not all strangers. And I gravitate toward it. If it's a sickness, I'll see what their symptoms were and analyze if any such exist in me/family...if it's car accidents, I'll worry more than ever when my husband goes on a coaching trip...you get the point. Me and the Internet have not been getting along lately. But I told Jason, I feel like I should "feel" with these people and pray for them, yet I also feel like it's total overload and making me an insane mess!!"
Beth's advice this morning (I told you, we seriously had a one-on-one - ha) was: don't stop feeling...don't stop being capable of having mercy, but let God be the one who brings about those opportunities into your life. Don't go searching for them or jumping from blog to blog reading sad stories.
Loved that.

And here's what else I have done:
1. plastered my favorite verse on the fridge:
"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."   Phil 4:8
(and I memorized it)

2. listened to praise music and sang praises to God. We taught our cell group girls about this as a way of fighting sin on Sunday...I was teaching myself. :)

3. I "hid" FB statuses that don't line up with the verse in #1...ones that I see constantly that don't provoke the things in that verse. And then I replaced them with "liking" people like John Piper, Gospel Coalition, and other Christian pages. I did this a few weeks ago and it truly has made a difference since I see so many encouraging verses/quotes now when I scroll down facebook.

4. I no longer let FB alerts or blog alerts show up on my phone, and I have a limit on time I am on Internet now.

The whole idea was to free up distractions - the ones that were feeding my bad habits - and replace them with whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy!

I told Jason last night, when I realized yesterday how worry had, yet again, crept in and started overtaking my life, that I got MAD (pissed, actually) and declared war. I praise the Lord he fights for us!

Oh and so on FB a little bit ago, this quote popped up in my newsfeed :)