One of Many

Writing has been a release for me for as long as I can remember...in the past it was in the form of journals, moved to the form of poetry and song throughout high school, back to journals in college, and most recently it has been through this blog and in the kid's prayer journals were started for them when they were born.

Throughout this journey of immense pain and unexplainable tragedy of losing sweet Tucker, the kid's journals have been the avenue thus far. However, I have handfuls of blog posts that have swirled in my head...things I want to share about this experience...ways we've seen God's Hand...just fun, simple sweet memories of our precious nephew...

Some of which I'm hesitant to write about because I feel as if my brain is still in a fog and that I would not be able to effectively communicate the gravity of some of these experiences.

But I'm going to try...for my own personal healing and documentation...and my prayer is you who read this blog may find comfort and FEEL the hope we all have in our Savior - for such a time as this.

The first thing I think I will share is the story of our explanation to Lincoln about Tuck's death, and his response (and continued conversation). I intended to do that on this post, but the precious little 3-year-old just toddled in here from a nap to sit in my lap, so I think I'll wait.

For now I'll leave it with a verse my dear roommate from college text me  last night that I have found unexplainable comfort in today:

"I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise of our God.
Many will see what He has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord."
Psalm 40:1-3

I particularly LOVE the part about how He gives us a "new song" to sing...in the past I've seen this as something always happy...but maybe it's a promise of restoring joy (not happiness) in Him as He directs our paths, that may be a new path that we never dreamed of taking - one that may look difficult and painful, but that once we start walking it, realize we can sing the new song because HE  IS THERE.
And because we can sing on that "new path" a "new song", many will be amazed at the new song, wondering how we could ever sing such song, and know it must be GOD alone.
Love this.
And love when God interprets scripture to you in a way you've never yet seen.