Noble Faith

So last night was one of those nights...one of those where I go to bed exhausted, only to hit the pillow and have my mind suddenly start swirling about all the recent tragic events that have shaken up our family. These nights seem to be happening a lot this past week and I'm sure there will be many more.

Last night though I had more feelings of despair than of sadness/hope. I cried a lot laying there in bed, imagining the images Nathan described on that night, trying to place myself in their shoes through all of this in the most realistic ways possible, imagining the years to come where we won't get to see Tucker grow and develop through each exciting milestone, picturing the "what-if's" of Lincoln and Noah playing with their cousin through the years...all will a total despairing feeling...all through my tears...and all the while asking the big WHY???!!! question.

It was a complete lapse in faith moment that quickly headed on a down spiral.

So I began to pray and cry before Jesus asking for His new mercies to come with the morning...praying for Him to reveal more of His plan to Amy and Nate (and all of us), and asking forgiveness for my lack of faith.

I have come to love the verse describing how "His mercies are new every morning!". Because this morning, the were new, I was refreshed, and my faith was restored. I had the thought (probably off base) last night, that's it's almost as if when the dark of night comes, the mercies start to "run out" or get trampled over by the business/sins/issues of the day...and then how pertinent that verse...I love that it specifies they are new in the morning... Like after the darkness, comes in His new mercies...

And last night during my moment, our little baby girl in my belly started kicking like crazy. At first this even made me extremely sad. I started imagining Tucker when he was born and the joy we all felt...and even had some feelings of guilt that here I was about to have another baby in less than 2 months (which I know guilt is not of God!).

Then it hit me...her name.

Adelynn Faith.
Which means "Noble Faith"...a faith that set high apart from everything else.
We named her this in light of the issues we thought we might be facing with her early on in pregnancy. And now, God has broadened the meaning of her name much more, in such a more dynamic way. It reminded me of how that early scare became an answered prayer by Him...how He took care of her; took care of us.
And here He was again, last night, calling on me to continue to have noble faith. He reminded me of it through her little kicks.
Throughout her time in my womb, God has called on us now at the beginning of her life and here toward the end of her time in my belly, to have a faith like we've never had before.
We prayed about her name a lot, and I felt so strongly at the time that God was naming her for us.
Her name is absolutely perfect. More perfect than I had ever before even dreamed.
I can't wait to teach her all about the breadth of what her name represents and the lessons God brought with it...to teach her about the cousin she never knew...her God who is always faithful...and then how every time I say it, be reminded that God has, will, and will continue to carry us.
My little Adelynn Faith. I can't wait to meet her!!!!!!

My sis wrote an amazing blog about how her faith has been challenged and the ways in which Jesus is already teaching her more about Himself. I hope you read it and are inspired like I was!!!