Somewhere Along the Line, I Forgot to Sleep

This week was extremely eventful and desperately sparse on sleep and rest. When I finally laid my head down last night, I realized that I was physically, emotionally, and spiritually spent. My body ached form my dedication to working out continually this past week, ending it with Race for the Cure on Saturday (along with cooking, cleaning, chasing the dogs, playing with Lincoln, Dogwood, hanging out w/ friends from high school, etc.), my heart felt burdened for some events that took place at work throughout the week that remind me of my role and responsibility God has granted me in my job to try and provide hope when it's hard to find, and my soul was challenged by dear friends, tragedy, and a message of hope and inspiration. It all ended last night w/ Jason and I on the couch around midnight, sharing our hearts and the words God was speaking to each of our inner most parts.
I always talk about one of the summers I was in Ukraine (my 2nd trip there) where I have never felt the presence of God and of Satan in such a real manner. God had peeled back the curtains on the business we get so entangled in here in the states and I was able to see the heart of our existence - that we are in the midst of a raging battle where every second of our lives bids a choice where we decide "what side am I fighting for?" I had never before so clearly experienced and understood this concept as I did that summer. And I started to realize, that God continued to reveal this in a powerful way every time I was overseas doing mission work. It was so powerful and I can remember being at those orphanages, going to my bed every night feeling spent. Spiritually exhausted and empty, turning to my Bible and prayer to be filled again; desperately needing to be filled. A common saying among the Americans on those trips was "when we get back to the real world...." speaking of what they were going to do when they got back to their realities in the states. But I've come to realize, I so often escape the real world and that reality is the experience I had in Ukraine - that here, in America, in the midst of our daily lives, we are in an all-out WAR. How much am I living as to prepare myself for this battle? What side am I feeding and strengthening every second of the day? Why do I have to be in a desolute part of the world to fully see reality...?
Last night I was brought back to that place as Jason and I shared the evening w/ some good friends. Through conversations and spoken truth and hope through tragedy, God convicted our spirits and grounded us, back to reality.

Two of my all-time favorite worships songs played in my head throughout the night and as I tried to fall asleep last night...the words are powerful:

A thousand times I've failed, still Your MERCY remains...
Your will above all else, Your purpose remains
The art of losing myself, in bringing You praise
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all things
My heart and my soul, I give you control
Consume me from the inside out, Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love you from the inside out, Lord

You give and take away, you give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

"Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:19-24 NIV