Remembering Tucker

This picture will forever be rested tightly against my soul.

It was the last image I captured of my sweet nephew Tucker before he went to be with Jesus. It was the last time I hugged and kissed him; the last time his cousins chased him through the hallways, laughed and squealed together, hugged, tugged, shoved, and wrestled in good cousin fashion.
You see this picture - in all its poor quality - perfectly captures the joy of these little boys' relationship. A relationship that had just begun to become vivacious and exciting. One year ago today, as Jason and I sat in Amy and Nate's living room until the late hours right before midnight, we laughed and relaxed in peace, watching these boys continue to develop a rich relationship. We joked about how crazy things would be with them as they continued to grow...how chaoic and fun family gatherings would become and so forth.
But as most of you know, the Lord had a different plan and Tucker went to his heavenly home 3 days after this picture was taken.
We'll never know the complete answers this side of Heaven but we are still confident in God's faithfulness...that He is alive and active in our lives...something we've seen demonstrated in many ways throughout this journey but more particularly in the birth of Amy and Nate's twins, Max & Gideon.

So today, as I look at this picture, I remember Tucker that night one year ago. I remember him and Noah chasing each other through the house with that walker-thing...I remember them playing with trains together...I remember Lincoln teaching Tucker how to put things together..I remember hugging and kissing his sweet little cheeks...I remember how much God loves us - even in the midst of unthinkable tragedy.

There are a few songs that remind me of those times a year ago. Some I can't listen to, and others I love to listen too, even if I'm an emotional mess by the last word. One such has been the following lyrics:

The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning
It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes

Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

You're rich in love, and You're slow to anger
Your name is great, and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find

Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

And on that day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come
Still my soul will sing Your praise unending
Ten thousand years and then forevermore

Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

(This was taken the last time he was at our house...another cherished one. They were in the bath because Tucker had just discovered his love for blueberries that night when I gave him a TON and made a mess..he kept signing and saying "MORE! MORE!". I also gave him turkey because Amy said he loved turkey. But when I have it to him, he took a bite and spit it out with disgust. I text Amy and asked why he was refusing it, that I thought he loved it??! She text back "is it from the deli? He only likes it if it's from the deli." HILARIOUS. that little stinker!)

9 Month Pics

I did another little impromptu photo shoot with my baby girl. I can't get enough of her little cheeks!! Girls are so much more fun to photograph with all of their accessories. :)

Kid's Stats

we had some well-checks. So for my record-keeping, here it is.

Adelynn: 9 months
Height - 28.5in. (74%)
Weight - 19.6lbs (58%)

Noah: 3 years/0 months
Height - 38in (71%)
Weight - 28lbs (21%)

Lincoln: 4 years/4 months
Height - 43.75 (95%)
Weight - 43lbs (85%)

Verdict? Lincoln is a beast. He has been a beast from 4 months. In fact, his height percentiles have continued to just go UP the older he gets. I should start saving money for shoes.
I also think it is very possible that at Noah's 4 year check up, him and Adelynn will weigh the same.

The doc asked all sorts of questions about the kids yesterday, and then after having some insightful conversation with Jason about the kids last night, the conclusion at their current stage of life is:

Lincoln and Adelynn are pretty much twinsies. They even speak their own language together. I'm really not joking. I will be shocked if she is not a people person like he is, but then again, maybe she will only just be extroverted around the person she adores the most - Lincoln. We shall see.

Then our wild card is Noah Jackson. :) He is both wild and a card. And I love everything about him and how unique and creative God designed him. He is hilarious, amazes us with his language (he completely talks in descriptive sentences full of adjectives and words that continue to amaze me) and his ability to navigate any electronic device, and honestly, could really care a less what people think about him. This is different than Lincoln who already is a HUGE people pleaser. FYI, people pleasers are easier to parent. :)
But it hit me last night talking to Jason that we prayed Noah would be stubborn and stand for the Lord when no one else would and wouldn't be swayed by public opinion.
And here we are - 3 years later, trying to figure out the balance of how to instill compassion and empathy/sympathy in a child who can just do his own thing regardless of what others think, and sometimes, without thinking of others. It's not easy!
But I'm thankful the Lord made him so hilarious because his comic relief really is hysterical.

Anyway, I know I did a little update the other day, but just some more after their appt. since I seriously do go back and read these (I really do).

Miss Priss at 9mo.

She is a hilarious stinker who moves at full speed with her unique 1/2 crawl (she drags one leg behind her and has even rubbed a blister - poor thing). But this girl can move. I left her in the living room the other day with the boys while I was getting ready, and in no time, she crawled through the house to find me - she even knew her way!

She is not pulling up yet and really shows no interest (which is fine by me). I still predict she is a late walker.

She finally has her first tooth in about 1/2 way. The boys both used to wake up with full teeth that seemingly grew overnight, but hers seem to take their ever loving time. And while the boys used to sleep more when they teethed, she cries more.

When it comes to her schedule these days, she feels more like a toddler since they all three do the same thing (or maybe the boys are more like babies?).
She goes to bed earlier than the boys (around 8:00pm), and the past few weeks will wake up about 6:30am - by which I don't consider morning - so I throw her a bottle in her bed and we don't hear from her until about 8:30-9:00am.
She would totally take a morning nap, but we are literally rarely here and she is too entertained to sleep much on the go anymore (though she will sometimes), so she really crashes with the boys from 1:30ish - 4:30ish.

She also added a whole lot more solids this month and has mastered picking things up with her thumb/forefinger. She likes bananas, strawberries, carrots, and mix veggies (most of the time) and still has a special little passion for cheerios. I will still feed her the mushy stuff too, but not as often.
Since she is eating more, she only gets 4 oz. milk every 4 hours or so.

Some fun developments have been her communication skills! She now says "mama" all the time, and just recently started saying "bubba" to Lincoln (sorry, dada).
She can also sign "more", and will start clapping when you say the word "clap" or if she sees someone else clapping. She clapped through the whole B'ville starting line up at the game last night. She still "sings" with me when I sing to her which might be my favorite thing ever.

Her and Lincoln have had a special relationship for a long time, but this month, her and Noah have started connecting! He seeks her out and will play with her. They did a crawling race the other day and when Lincoln asked Noah to come play with him, he told him, "No, I'm playing with Adelynn right now."

Her and Noah both have well checks next week. I bet they weigh the same. Ha. No I know she is in the 70%ish for weight because they weighed her for her ear infection last week. (By which she has already gotten 2  - no tubes please!!!!!).

So anyway, that's my sweet *almost* 9mo. old. And so begins the last stretch to her 1st birthday. Crazy.

THREE!

Noah turns 3 today!!!! I made a little college of when he was born, and all his birthdays up to this point.

Can I say this boy has brought so much joy, laughter, and amazement into our lives. The fast pace at which his language has developed over the past year makes us laugh immensely since he has been saying "big" things for almost a year now, yet it all comes from this tiny little person. He really has brought tons of comic relief to our lives in the midst of some rough waters and I am so thankful for the little man God is molding him into.

He has so many crazy little quirks that makes him our incredibly unique, quirky, peculiar middle child. He is super laid back, takes his time doing everything, loves his sleep, and LOVES his toys. He has finally started being more of a social guy and has some little buddies now that he actually verbalizes wanting to go spend time with (this is a big deal - ha).

Obviously, we are all one-of-a-kind, but this little guy is seriously one of a kind.

In the past few months, he has really gotten into memorizing Scripture, with his latest verse being John 3:16. It's funny, because he can memorize them when put to motions, and Lincoln memorizes them when put to song. Already have their learning preferences!

Noah, we names you this after Noah from the Bible and have prayed from day 1 that you would be stubborn for the Lord and go against the grain, for the sake of your Savior.
You definitely are stubborn, and you go against the grain. (And you have a special charm over all animals - ha). I pray God continues to guide you in His ways of using your personality to honor Him!

 

 1st Birthday:

 

 2nd Birthday:

 

3rd Birthday:

 

Cookies!!!!

So I've talked about my absolute best chocolate chip recipe ever on here a lot, but I discovered something new yesterday!
I've been seeing on pinterest a lot about using cornstarch in the batter, and I thought I would test it out.

You see I, too frequently, will want to make CCcookies but forget (or don't have) vanilla pudding. And yesterday was one of those days, so I decided to see what cornstarch would do. I used the same recipe but instead of the pudding (since I didn't have it), I put in 2 tsp of cornstarch.

And it worked! Jason said he still liked the vanilla pudding slightly better, but I would say if the pudding ones were at a 100%, these were at a 95%.

So there you have it. If you forgot to get the pudding, throw in some cornstarch.

More On Money

Sorry. Jesus has literally knocked our family upside down in regards to this topic and through it flows a new fervor and energy in knowing more of Him than I did previously.

I know a lot of you roll your eyes or wince at the fact that I continue to talk about money on this blog (because we've been told it's suppose to be a private matter I guess), but I also know the many numerous emails/messages/conversations these posts have ignited in the past, with many of you sharing your stories and such.

So here goes another one.

I seriously have just been so rocked by this matter as I delve more in Scripture and realize I have had it totally wrong. Jason and I have been in the process of realizing this over the past 4 years, but here recently again, we were taken to an even deeper level.

We have now encountered 4 different pastoral teachings (over the past 4 years) on this subject matter (all many part series), and after much prayer, practice, and pouring over Scripture, I just can't deny the absolute radical state of what Jesus desires from our finances while here on earth. And believe me - I've tried to deny it; I've tried to say "we live in different times though", I've tried to pass over such teachings in a defensive mode of not wanting to feel guilty, but yall - Jesus' teachings on this matter are just simply black and white! And it's one of the things He actually directly talks about over and over.

I'm not going to get into everything in detail on here - it will mean much more for you to seek it on your own, but some awesome points drawn form things I've learned lately were as such:

***Comparatively speaking, in America, we are blessed with money...everyone of us. And the purpose of Jesus blessing us with money is so that we can take what we need and give the rest away. The Kingdom can't advance unless we use the resources we are given to do so. One pastor I listened to in a sermon posed this question that pierced me:
***"When did we ever get off thinking that just because we make a 70K/year salary, that we must live a 70K/year salary???"
***What if we decided what we needed, lived on that, and gave the rest away...no matter how our salaries increased over time?
***God demands that if we give, we give JOYFULLY. This is he area where I personally have literally been transformed.
***MAKE AS MUCH MONEY AS POSSIBLE so that it can be sued to further the Kingdom of God. My pastor in California used to tell us to be shrewd about making money - to try and make tons of it, but only live on a very small portion of it.

Francis Chan, in a video I saw the other day, paints a similar analogy using a rope as an illustration. This video rocked my world in light of the other things God's been teaching/convicting me of. Watch it if you have a few minutes:

So here's little ole me the other day, totally inspired/convicted, and I came home and just started getting rid of everything I could through our house that I thought others could benefit from that were excess for me. I had 4 trashbags full by the time it was over, and loaded them in my car.
********DISCLAIMER: not a story to brag, but the complete opposite, to show your how I have a long ways to go!******************
Anyway, I seriously felt like I cleaned out so much stuff in my kitchen, my closets, the kids closets, countertops, garage, etc.
But then, after it was all loaded, I was chatting with my friend Bethany about all these things we've had our eyes opened to, and I realized my house didn't look any different than it did before I went through it.
Then it hit me - I got rid of things I don't want or use anymore. I wasn't, in the truest sense that I set out to, letting go of my treasures that are only fleeting - I was doing spring cleaning two months early.
Yes, I know there is benefit in what I did, but I still don't know what it feels like to completely live by what I need. I don't think I've figured out what that boundary is (though it's become a new family prayer).

But yall, here's encouragement. 4 years ago we had debt up to our ears. We overspent, had stupid budgets and were INSANELY convicted over it before we moved from Siloam. And today, I got out our old budget sheets from 4 years ago and compared to the ones we have today, and after INSANE downsizing efforts over the course of those years, changed hearts, and this newfound fervor to make more to give more, we're a living testimony that IT CAN BE DONE through the grace and power of God, and spurn sheer JOY.
When comparing the way we lived our lives 4 years ago to today, we are making around $30,00 MORE/month, but spending $1200ish LESS/month. And we are in the process of trying to figure out how to increase that deficit even more.

So anyway, God has exposed some radical truths to our hearts lately, and I feel inadequate to try and share some of them because I still feel it's a constant struggle for me and a totally new road that is definitely counter cultural.
I may have gone too far discussing this in it's personal form - I'm honestly not sure - but it's something that just spills out of me lately and I can't get enough of trying to struggle through this journey. What a privilege us as Americans have to be so good at making money and allowing God to use that through us. What a privilege!