The Current Debate

When I was younger, pre-school was one year before Kindergarten and that was that. But now the normal is to send your kids to 2 years of pre-school before starting K. Actually, the real "normal" or trend at least is to start your kids in Mothers Day Out programs from the get-go at least a few days a week, then do pre-school for 2 years, then start school.

For working moms, daycare and MDO are great options and pre-school becomes necessary (we did the daycare thing ourselves for Lincoln's first year while I worked).

And I have some friends (non-working) who chose to put their kids in MDO a couple of days a week to have some time to themselves to get errands/chores, etc. done.

Most of my friends put their kids in pre-school 2 years before K as well.

And then I have a few friends who have forgone any public schooling all-together and are doing a year-by-year basis of homeschooling.

I think ALL of these options can be great for families depending on their individual needs/circumstances/personal preferences and whatnot, so I am by no way saying "my way is the best way" because frankly I feel a little blind when it comes to some of these options (and more secure wit others).

Our family has decided that my full-time "job" is to stay home with the kids and be their sole source of influence while we have the chance. This means we have never done MDO with either of our boys and probably will never do it with any of our subsequent kids (I say probably because you never know). But for right now, there is no need to send them off when I'm here and perfectly capable all the time. I do think "my time" is important to hang out with other adults, revitalize myself in all aspects, and such, but I get that through 2-hour Bible study once a week, working out at the gym while kids are in their own work-out class, and then during their 3 hour naptime everyday. That's all a blessing and perfectly sufficient at this point! So I'm secure in the MDO decision.

But then enter pre-school. IF Lincoln were to do the norm, he would start pre-school next year, do it again the following, then start Kindergarten in 2 years. Up until last week, I had been in contact with the director of the place he would go and was re-budgeting and such to accommodate. But there has been this tug away from it I keep putting back. I have never felt completely sure about sending him for 2 years. But since most families do this, I was nervous he would be behind socially/academically if skipped the first year.

Here recently I've sought out advice from friends about this matter and have really looked into all that he will learn that first year of pre-school. The main objectives, he has known for almost an entire year, so the fear of him being "behind" academically was settled and I knew that wouldn't be the case.

But socially would he be behind, became my big question. After talking with Jason a lot about this and other friends/family, I realized he would not be at all. His teachers in his Bible study classes have always commented to me on his sociability and verbal skills, and he understands the classroom structure from those classes (as well as Sunday school since his is more structured now that he is older). Plus, we are in social settings A LOT. And when we're just at home, he has a brother who is not much younger to socialize with! Plus, I love being the one to be able to provide his social settings while I can.

So if he doesn't need it socially or academically, the thought of dropping a couple thousand dollars for the next year to send him away 2 days a week was even more unsettling. A common thread in what people have told me has been "keep them with you as long as you can...you're their best teacher...this time is so short...". Ultimately that is what I resonate with.

The only tug in the other direction is I think Lincoln would LOVE going. But then I remind myself, he'll get to go for MANY years after that! And with his new baby sister going to be at home, and Noah who will be even more active and playful by that time, I think we have decided it's best to only send Lincoln one year of pre-school. Jason and I talked about it for a while last night and he said "You know that the more time they get to spend with you, the more I am for it!".

So I'm pumped at finally coming to this decision for Lincoln. And as for Noah, I think he might be one that will go 2 years because he might have a harder time leaving me and need more of a gradual transition before Kindergarten. But we'll cross that road in a few years!

And as for homeschooling? I used to be a "No Way!" girl, but actually have a more open mind in that arena too (though I don't feel we will do it)...but that's for another post. :)

Some of you have discussed your thoughts on this with me on FB but I would love to hear any new opinions or what works for your family!