Baby News

This past week has been a whirlwind...I have "written" this post in my head probably 50+ times over the past week, and each time it looks completely different. Journaling has always been a coping skill of mine, and though I knew I'd eventually blog about this past week, I have resulted to actual journaling with paper and pen these past days.

But here I am, ready to share with you a piece about my Savior.

A week ago I went in for a routine ultrasound to check the heartbeat (and sex????) of the baby. This was the first doctor's appointment I have ever had where my doctor expressed concern over a certain developmental aspect of the baby. The bowels had not returned to the abdomen wall as expected at this stage of pregnancy. After my many questions, he explained how this could mean one of two things: one was very serious and would require immediate post-natal surgery for the baby, and the other - much much more serious -  had devastating effects after the baby was born. We discussed upcoming pre-natal care which would include me going to UAMS in Little Rock for chromosomal disorders testing, more in-depth ultrasounds, and how I would ultimately have to deliver there with a specialist doctor. HE told me he wanted to see me weekly for a while to monitor this.

I was at that appointment by myself and left with floods of emotions - terrified, anxious, confused - and cried and prayed the whole way home. Something could be wrong...seriously wrong.

Half-way home my doctor called me from the office to tell me not to worry too much that upcoming week, that he still thought there was a chance it could form into the abdomen in the next few days (but that it is just usually formed by now).

And that became my prayer.

Yall, I prayed my heart out that day/night. I prayed for healing, but I ultimately Jason and I prayed that if this was the road God had in store for us, that He would get glory through whatever circumstances lay ahead. And I prayed for peace...over and over for peace -  no matter the outcome.

I told my close friends who I knew would rally in prayer for this baby. That part was overwhelming! I got verses in text, prayers emailed to us, and felt the Body of Christ in a powerful way.

That night I got little sleep. I woke up the next morning with a heaviness and I lay in bed praying for God to give me energy that day, to lift my spirits, and I asked Him why I still didn't feel the peace I had prayed for the entire day before. As I was doing this, my phone rang - a number I didn't recognize.

Here's where the miracle comes in...

I answered the phone and it was a school board member whom I've met one time - this summer. I still don't even know how she got my number. But she did and she called. And she told me God has been teaching her a lot about himself lately and she wanted to share it with another Believer.
And my name was on her heart that morning.
Which, by the way, is very very odd. This lady had no idea of our circumstances and I don't even know her that well.
But she called me and she began telling me about the armor of God and how we need it to defeat the enemy and His lies. Then she, boldly, proclaimed to me "Melissa, the battle is HIS! The battle is His!!!!!"
At this point I was crying on the phone because I knew this lady was acting as the voice of God to me. I wasn't able to explain to her the significance of her calling because I was crying so much (I later got the chance too, though!). How crazy that God used a school board member to call and minister to me that morning, BEFORE MY FEET EVEN HIT THE FLOOR.

Yall, God knows what we need and I was completely engulfed and overwhelmed by His love that morning. I called Jason to tell him about it and his response was "We have no clue how much God really loves us...none of us do...".

And that peace I had been praying for? He gave it to me after that phone call. And I have had it ever since...unwavering (no joke) which is ONLY from God. So much so, I never even googled anything from then on! Ha.

I had made such peace with whatever the outcome (even if it was the majorly devastating one), knowing God could use it ALL for His glory...and isn't that all that matters in the grand scheme of things???

These past few days, I actually had this overwhelming feeling that the mass presented above the baby's belly would be completely gone next ultrasound. I told my close friends that recently...

So today was the day and I woke with super sweet messages from friends and text throughout the day of people praying. My mom informed me that some of her close friends woke up praying for me as well...humbling and encouraging.

I had zero anxiety today which is a miracle. It wasn't until the doctor put the device on my belly getting the picture of the baby up on the screen that my heart started beating out of my chest...and at that point, Lincoln goes "Mommy?" I looked over at him and he goes "I love you."

God knows what we need...

You guys - the mass was completely GONE. There was zero sign of anything abnormal. Nothing. We nixed the plans for UAMS...Jason and I looked at each other and said Praise the Lord...He is Healer.

And here are a few interesting afterthoughts:
1. This past week could have been one of complete turmoil, google, and constant worry. But God drew me closer to Him this week. He showed up in my life through prayer and using other people. "Bad news" isn't always so bad, you guys...feeling out of control with only one place to turn can be a strangely restful place...
2. This is terrible, but I caught myself - when I first got in the car after the good news, my first thought was "Melissa, now don't go around calling this a miracle because there was a small percentage out there of fetuses that develop the abdomen wall really late..." or "This was more of a medical explanation..."
Then I caught myself and realized the many ways God demonstrated power/love just in our relationship this past week, and how the enemy would love for me to believe this was "explainable" and not a miracle.
My friend Bethany told tonight how the same has happened with her, how she has caught herself trying to excuse miracles because we really lack faith in them sometimes.

One thing I've learned (I have in the past taken for granted) is what an absolute miracle it is that all things form together in a perfect manner to form a human being. We often call it a miracle nonchalantly, but I know see clearer than ever just how incredibly miraculous it all is.

So as for this family, we choose to call this a miracle, and give God all the glory for forming this baby in a healthy manner!

So that's our latest faith journey. I will still go back for an ultrasound in a few weeks to solidify things are still good (and find out the sex!). He tried today to see the sex, but the baby wasn't very cooperative.

Anyway, thanks for listening and I'm so humbled to serve a miraculous God who loves me and knows my every need. He is PROVIDER. The verse at the top of this blog is one I cherish and claim often!