Dear Noah

Dear Noah,
It is the night before your birthday...a day I have been anticipating and dreaming about for ten months now that has at times seemed like an eternity of trying to wait patiently, yet suddenly, I feel like it was just yesterday I learned of your existence inside of me.

That was a special day...I woke up in the morning, feeling different than normal and thought I would take a left-over test I had from the previous year. Your dad was up early getting ready to take his basketball team to a camp and was running late, rummaging through the house gathering his clothes and trying to make up for lost time (he likes to press the alarm button several times!). Through his bustle, I waited in the bathroom to see what the test would say...and that's when I found out YOU were alive and well, growing minute by minute inside of my belly. My heart raced; tears filled my eyes; a twinge of doubt set over me "What if the test is wrong?" I didn't tell your dad just yet; I wanted to be sure. So in those early morning hours, I made an excuse to run to the store and pick up the real test: not the Equate brand, and not one with faint lines - the one that says PREGNANT.
But in my angst, nervousness, and excitement, I came home and could not pee (seems unreal that I had this problem after carrying you for the past 10 months!). And when I finally could, you're dad had already gone...me still not letting him in on our little secret. So when the test came back positive, it was just you and me, buddy that knew. I could hardly stand it, waiting till late that night when your dad got home!

All day I was in awe of you, prayed for you, and imagined what you would be like. I was currently working but one of our prayers recently had been that when we had another child, God would provide a way for me to stay at home. I'll be honest, I got out the calculator and our budget and started crunching numbers only to realize that at that moment, we were not going to be able to afford for me to stay at home still. I cried over this, but then realized God is bigger and prayed for his will.

When your dad got home that night, I wondered how I would tell him...be creative? I'm not the most creative person unfortunately...or just tell him. I then thought that I would be beaming too much and give it away without saying a word!
But that night, your father walked in the door, with a beam across his face and an expression that said he had news for me...he had news for me?
I told him I had news for him, too, but that he should go first...

Sweet baby, the Lord answered our prayers in so many ways on that day. Your daddy's news was that he had found out earlier that morning that he was wanted to be the new head basketball coach at Bentonville High School and that this job opportunity would come with a significant increase in pay - one we would later find out, would supplement my current salary to the dollar.

Tears filled my eyes because his news was more overwhelming than he yet knew...so when he asked me what my news was, I got to tell him about you; about God's miracles; the way He answers prayers. And your father cried. I hope someday you have your father's sensitive spirit and compassion...it is one of the most attractive endearing things about him.

And tomorrow is your day. You're daddy is coaching a game right now and I decided to stay back and concentrate on getting things ready for you. I have had to stop writing this letter because he keeps texting me things about you and how much he loves us...

We can't wait for you to meet your big brother! He is only 15 months old and does not understand he is about to be a big brother, but he will soon. And what a wonderful brother he'll be to you. He's full of energy and loves to laugh and play. I pray for you and his relationship on a regular basis - that God will create a strong, unique bond between the both of you...not only has God created another son for us, but he has created a brotherly bond that will forever be. I think that's pretty special.

We specifically hand-picked your name Noah Jackson. Noah means "peace", "comforter", and "rest" in some translations. Sometimes it's kind of funny to think about your name because your doctor thinks you're one of the most active babies in the womb he has seen! But your daddy and I have prayed over you and your name on several occasions. We pray that you will have a peaceful confidence about your identity in Christ; that you will find rest in the arms of your Savior, going against the grain when he calls you to and not worrying about outside influences apart from His voice. Noah was a great leader in the Bible. Great leaders must be compassionate comforters because they lead through both the good and bad times. Your name is strong; it carries a sense of boldness, yet humility. Your middle name stems from one of the most stubborn presidents our country has seen! We pray you're stubborn for the Lord; that men don't waver your following of Him.

We understand sweet Noah that you're a gift. You're not ours and you are nothing we created. You are a unique design by our Savior Himself...knit together by Him in my womb. What an overwhelming responsibility God has granted us. We promise to pray for you, encourage you, and lead you toward Christ to the best of our ability. We can't wait to meet you tomorrow and start this journey with you! We love you...

Love,
Mommy, Daddy, & Big Brother