I have had so many people tell me that "it's the feeling of falling in love all over again when you meet your new little baby for the first time!" I for sure know now how that feels, but I don't think I was prepared to completely fall in love "all over again" w/ Jason. I have always been crazy in love w/ Jason, but never knew I could feel like this about him! I am trying to figure out which has been more beautiful: watching all the newness and little miracles of our new son, or watching Jason be the most amazing father in the world with him. Both have uncovered such intense emotions that I truly never realized existed in my heart.
As I said in the previous post, when Lincoln was born, Jason was so overwhelmed with emotion that he couldn't even put words together to talk to the little guy in the incubator, but just had tears streaming down his face. And then when he brought Lincoln over to me, the first sentence he was able to put together was "What do you think it would take for me to be a stay-at-home dad??"
Before we even left to go the hospital (we were like 20 minutes late) we sat down together in the living room and prayed for the whole process, for Lincoln, and for our house that we were bringing him into...we both took turns praying for these precious things and when we were done, I looked up and my sweet husband had tears just streaming down his face with a big smile.
Since we've had Lincoln, I don't even know how to explain the demeanor of Jason except that this little guy has rocked his world, I think, in a way he never expected. I know Jason has been crazy excited for Lincoln and just in awe of everything, but I'm not sure even he realized how much love and intensity he would have in his heart for this little man of ours - and those of you who know Jason know he is already an extremely passionate man!!
But he's still a coach...ha. We split last night up into shifts. He had the first (10-12), I took over from 12-3, and he finished up from 3-7. Then I was up for the day and he went back to sleep (poor guy slept till noon I think!). Anyway, after his first shift was over and I got up to relieve him, Jason was SO fired up! It was the cutest thing ever! He was talking so fast and excited, telling me all the things they did all the faces he made, how he changed diapers and held and how Lincoln cried and how he soothed him...on and on and on with hand motions and everything. Then he went straight into, "you know I LOVE this...I was thinking I can get by when season starts on like 4 hours of sleep - I used to do it all the time! I can just sleep for 4 hours and then do all of this every night...I can do this!" He was so excited and you could tell just trying to figure out a way where he could spend as much time with Lincoln as possible. I just sat there laughing at him and when he was finished just walked up and kissed him and told him I think he's amazing. That is an understatement.
Anyway, I have enjoyed more than anything sitting back and watching my husband truly be such an amazing father. It is such an indescribable joy that I am so blessed to experience.
I love you baby. :)
3 comments:
this made me cry. :)
This also made me cry. Love your blog! God is good! Teamwork is extremely helpful in relationships!
This is how we explain "family" to our children, especially having a special needs child... we are a team! Peace. Love. Joy H.
I love it. Thank you for painting such a beautiful picture of my cousin. I know that his heart is big. I remember that moment too where I realized I didn't know it was possible to fall in love with John all over again. It is a miracle to watch them love this child immediately and have their hearts completely captured for their child. So beautiful!
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