Interesting post title, huh? I got this email from a dear friend today, saw the title, and was like "Huh?? How will this encourage?!"
Then I read it...
And was encouraged beyond belief.
(So much so, I had to write a blog post about it!).
So before I share it with you, here's the back story. Hours earlier I had just finished sharing with this friend (who is one of the other coaches wives) about my "hell-ish" night at the last home game with the kids on Friday.
We were playing our rival.
It was insanely crowded.
There were literally no seats and our usual ones were occupied by the entire BHS band.
Both boys and I didn't feel good and couldn't breathe out of our noses.
And none of the other varsity coaches wives were there that night.
All the elements for a disaster.
And this is how the night went:
A whiny clingy toddler whom I'm pretty sure starting running fever by the end of the night (poor thing).
We stood the majority of the game because the kids were hard to control and that just seemed to work better...and there were no seats.
When Lincoln needed to go to the bathroom, I sent him in Jason's office by himself since I had to stay out with Noah, only to find him running out - in the massively packed arena remember - NAKED telling me he needed help wiping (are.you.kidding.) - yes, people saw.
At halftime, a friend yelled down to me, "Melissa! Noah is on the court!!!" during the middle of the halftime entertainment.
There was a point in the third that Noah was screaming and kept throwing his pacy dangerously close to the in-bound line.
The game was a nail-biter which shredded my already frayed nerves...
And there were many moments I wanted to burst into tears in front of everyone out of sheer frustration - but held it together until the moment we got in the car to drive home (yes - I cried the whole way home).
But let me tell you, an angel of mercy was present that night. During the 4th, I'm still not sure if she saw the mass chaos that was me and my kids and felt sorry for us or just felt the inkling to come over, but one of the Jr.High coaches wives suddenly appeared (not even sure where she came from) and literally just gracefully took Noah away and played with him by the training room for the entire 4th quarter and overtime. She didn't ask...didn't offer (by which I would have said "I'm fine...you're so sweet...but thanks!" since it's my nature to resist help)...but she just took him. Not even giving me the option. And yall, though I told her, I'm not sure she even grasped the magnitude of how SAVING that was for me in that moment - but OH MY WORD she was my angel. Have I ever mentioned BHS has some amazing coaches/wives????
Thankful for God's grace...
Thankful He works in mysterious ways sometimes and that he has no cookie-cutter means of creating men/women after His own heart.
Anyway, so in light of last Friday, my friend sent me this article this morning and it touched my soul. I hope it touches yours. :)
By: Lysa TerKeurst
My daughter, Hope, is a senior this year. And she decided her senior year should be adventurous and a little out of the “normal” box. A lot out of the box actually.
She withdrew from traditional school. Applied with the state to homeschool. Enrolled in on-line college courses that would allow her to get both high school and college credit simultaneously. And planned to spend the month of January serving in Nicaragua doing missions.
This didn’t surprise me really. Because Hope has always like charting her own course.
When she was really little I was scared to death I was the world’s worst mom, because Hope was never one to be contained. And I honestly thought all her extra tenacity was a sign of my poor mothering.
One day I took her to the mall to meet several of my friends with toddlers to grab lunch. All of their kids sat quietly eating cheerios in their strollers. They shined their halos and quoted Bible verses and used tissues to wipe their snot.
Not Hope.
She was infuriated by my insistence she stay in her stroller. So, when I turned away for a split second to place our lunch order, she wiggled free. She stripped off all her clothes. She ran across the food court. And jumped in the fountain in the center of the mall.
Really nothing makes the mother of a toddler feel more incapable than seeing her naked child splashing in the mall fountain. Except maybe that toddler refusing to get out and said mother having to also get into the fountain.
I cried all the way home.
Not because of what she’d done that day. But rather because of how she was everyday. So determined. So independent. So insistent.
I would beg God to show me how to raise a good child. One that stayed in her stroller. One that other people would comment about how wonderfully behaved she was. One that made me look good.
But God seemed so slow to answer those prayers. So, over the years, I changed my prayer. ”God help me to raise Hope to be who you want her to be.” Emphasis on, “God HELP ME!”
I think I changed my prayers for her because God started to change my heart. I started sensing He had a different plan in mind for my mothering of Hope.
Maybe God’s goal wasn’t for me to raise a good rule following child. God’s goal was for me to raise a God-following adult. An adult just determined and independent and insistent enough to fulfill a purpose He had in mind all along.
I don’t know what mama needs to hear this today. But let me encourage you from the bottom of my heart with 3 simple mothering perspectives you must hang on to:
1. Don’t take too much credit for their good.
2. Don’t take too much credit for their bad.
3. Don’t try to raise a good child. Raise a God-following adult.
And all the mamas of fountain dancing children said, “Amen!”
