I say that with a question mark because lately I have been hit with the reality that we will soon have another BABY IN THE HOUSE...I have spent the last few minutes re-reading through old post when Lincoln was born, suddenly remembering the constant feedings and fits (he had a gassy tummy for first 4 months) and the exhausting work it takes to care for a newborn. But sprinkled in the sleepless nights, crying fits (where you feel totally helpless!) and short (very short) naps, were the glimmers of wonder and unexplainable love that overwhelms with a new baby - your new baby. I'm all excited and nervous and feeling incompetent and unworthy to have such a blessing again, all at the same time. And the motto of Jason and I since we meet comes back to me...here we go!
My mom asked me last night if I'm getting nervous about the delivery and all. I told her not at all. I was never nervous about that with Lincoln for some reason. Hospitals don't bother or scare me at all. In fact, I remember looking forward to that part with Lincoln, because for a few days, I got to be completely immobile and let others take care of me (I was also stressed at work at the time). I know some people like to get in and out of hospital ASAP when having babies, but not me. If insurance says I can spend 2 nights, I'm staying 2 nights. :) Someone help me to the bathroom, bring me medicine and meals, change diapers and hand my little darling to me whenever he's hungry and watch him while I sleep? Yes, please.
I am still the most nervous about the same thing I was nervous about when I had Lincoln - the first months to follow at home. What will sleep be like? Will he be healthy? How will Lincoln react? How will he do breastfeeding? The last one is a concern to me because I did not produce enough milk with Lincoln and had to quit around 4 months. My goal is to go 9 months and I hope I can do more to produce more this time (tips and comments on this would be greatly appreciated for those of you that have ever had trouble producing adequate milk!).
And I'll leave you with this...I am in the full-mode of having labor dreams every night now. The latest? I went into labor on a porch somewhere and gave birth to a St. Bernard. Yes.